To celebrate our country's birthday, we present a whimsical take on our Constitution—one that embraces our love for humor and creativity. At Auntie’s Dick of the Month, we believe in honoring traditions while infusing a bit of lightheartedness into the mix.
Behold our crystal penis, a striking centerpiece that captures both attention and laughter. This delightful piece harmonizes perfectly with our faux Constitution, crafted on coffee-stained paper for that authentic, old-world charm. Each clause is cleverly reimagined, bringing a phallic twist to the founding principles that govern us.
As you read through our lighthearted interpretation, we invite you to reflect on the spirit of freedom, creativity, and joy that our country embodies. Join us in celebrating with a chuckle, cherishing the uniqueness that defines our nation. Here’s to fun and festivity—happy birthday, America!
Each cons-DICK-tution comes with one (1) crystal penis (optimum selection: blue sodalite, blue aventurine, white quartz, red smelting quartz, red jasper), handmade coffee-stained document with ADOTM seal and ADOTM stamp ‘of approval’.
To celebrate our country's birthday, we present a whimsical take on our Constitution—one that embraces our love for humor and creativity. At Auntie’s Dick of the Month, we believe in honoring traditions while infusing a bit of lightheartedness into the mix.
Behold our crystal penis, a striking centerpiece that captures both attention and laughter. This delightful piece harmonizes perfectly with our faux Constitution, crafted on coffee-stained paper for that authentic, old-world charm. Each clause is cleverly reimagined, bringing a phallic twist to the founding principles that govern us.
As you read through our lighthearted interpretation, we invite you to reflect on the spirit of freedom, creativity, and joy that our country embodies. Join us in celebrating with a chuckle, cherishing the uniqueness that defines our nation. Here’s to fun and festivity—happy birthday, America!
Each cons-DICK-tution comes with one (1) crystal penis (optimum selection: blue sodalite, blue aventurine, white quartz, red smelting quartz, red jasper), handmade coffee-stained document with ADOTM seal and ADOTM stamp ‘of approval’.